Have You Ever Experienced a Respect Lesson from someone you love?
I cannot tell you how much respect means to me in life and especially in my marriage. It seems like my life is one big respect lesson after another
It runs deep in the core of my being as a man. I know that much.
I crave and need respect like it is the air I breath. But, I can’t really describe how I feel about respect. Too fuzzy of an idea to put down in words.
Go ahead and do something that shows your admiration for me as a man and I can describe to you the feeling of satisfaction I get deep inside.
Know the Disrespect with no bite
Without fail–someone will disrespect me without meaning to. Making a remark about something in particular that criticizes my personality or highlights a mistake I have made in the past. Perhaps it is just being discounted and not fully appreciated by my friends.
Even being slighted by them doesn’t really feel like disrespect… Thick skins does come in handy!
Sticks & Stones… Disrespect With a Bite!
However, all I need to do is vaguely remember a time when Sarah (wonderful woman and wife that she is) even slightly disrespected me during an argument we had… And, automatically I can relive the anger, pain, and just teeth gritting fireball of rage it created in me.
No. I didn’t fly off the handle, hit her, or even call her a choice 4 letter name, or anything….
But, I just bit my lip squinted my eyes with anger for the disrespectful thing said, and I spitted out these words to her, “You need to think before you cut me down like that.
I was ready to go. I blew up again, “You just check what you said with God.”
I know that I overreacted a bit. I know that it is foolish and not worth it to fly off the handle and hit my wife… or anything like that. We all have had arguments, fights and have hurt and been hurt by our spouses. You’d be lying to yourself really if you deny that fact.
Beyond that, I was wrong to lash out verbally against Sarah, Ephesians 5:25 makes it clear: “Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it.” Nuff said!
But my point is that I remember the feelings of complete livid anger and pain of being disrespected-like it just happened 2 seconds ago.
Find the difference between tip 1 and tip 2 in your relationships–especially the ones at home and give pause to those that have a bite before lashing back in rage.
It happened One Night…
Just the other night Sarah and I had to work on some issues we were having in our life and marriage together. Hey it happens!
Not unlike millions of many married people right? Hey, if you are married, have a pulse and opinions, then eventually you got issues to work on.
It took all night. Many emotional highs and lows.
We spoke from sincerity and voiced how we felt about things that had been said and done. Things that shaped our marriage and the life we live together.
I bet that you as a husband are a lot like me. That night, when my wife spoke to me about some of the things that I had done in the past that hurt, upset, and disappointed her–she didn’t disrespect me at all.
It caused a raging inferno of a different sort to well up in me. This is a controlled fire. A controlled fire needs a Fire Marshall. Use honesty in your communication–even if it is brutal honesty and it will lead to the fire of intimacy being rekindled in your marriage.
Share your story of respect, at home, at work and in the bedroom if you like. Hit it up in the comments and get a conversation started!