7 Secrets for Front Door Lovin’ Interview Script

7 Secrets for Front Door Lovin’




Hi everybody,




This is Dave Tropeano with relationshipadvice101 and I have on the line with me today James


Hess. And, James Hess is from Keep Marriage Alive. And James Hess has a controversial


message that he would like to talk to us about today about marriage, and husbands, and


specifically Christian husbands.


James, how are you doing today?




“Hi Dave! It is great to be on the phone with you today, and I am so excited to dive into the topic


of helping Christian husband’s gain all their wife’s love and devotion, hmm… that they desire by


earning it through reliability, loyalty, and being considerate to the needs of their wives.


Of course, intimacy and matters of the home affect all husbands, but I have decided to make my


work be a focus on the topic of Christian Husbands. So, in this half hour I promise to help you,


the loving Christian husband quickly gain her undying devotion and good lovin’ through these 7


Secrets that I’m gonna share today.




“Why focus on Christian husbands James? What is it about Christian husbands you think you


can touch and reach the most?”




“Well Dave, being a Christian husband myself… I have put a lot of time into talking “one-onone” with Christian husbands over the past year—when the topic rolls around to our marriages–


I bring up the challenges to having a fulfilling marriage. You know, busy work schedules, taking


care of the kids, and the issue of respect from our wives.


I mean, sometimes it feels like we just can’t do enough to please them—our wives I mean.


Which, leads to tension.


Focusing on having a happy and fulfilling marriage becomes a serious topic—because there is so


much frustration these men, and I suspect my listeners now are feeling.


Here’s the thing guys…


I really identify with you as a Christian husband, and your struggle for purity of heart. Really,


there are sooo many easy outlets to sexual release available in the world. I believe that deep


down, you as a Christian husband are willing to change, and that is why I focus on helping you.


I think you, the Christian husband has a mandate to change in the Bible that forms what you


believe. The Holy Spirit conforms you as a Christian husband in the image of Jesus. I like that.


I offer hope for deeper intimacy and fulfillment that they know their marriage deserves—Even


when they do not have a lot of time to give in their life.


But, we are talking about intimacy here. The internet seems to be the easiest place to take care of


sexual needs, than anything else available. I work late at night on the internet and it certainly is a




But, a few years ago I developed what we are going to talk about today, and much more, because


really, it was my wife who was the big temptation in my life. I wanted –(clear throat)– intimacy


on a daily basis with her, and it would kill me to be turned down.


Struggle in that department eventually brought me back into the cycle of porn. Of which, I


confessed to her. Long story short, she was angry, and I took the initiative to get involved in


http://www.settingcaptivesfree.com/. It is a very good biblical, mentor based system for gaining


freedom from addiction. But, in order for me to fix my first problem, lack of intimacy with my


wife—I had to develop a habit and skill that the course did not cover.


I needed to have a deeper understanding of how to cherish my wife as a gift from God. I took


massive action then and still do now. It all took place around the front door after I got home or


not. If I did things right at the front door—then we were golden. But, if I failed to do the right


stuff at the front door, then we were sunk. So, I cultivated intimacy with her with the time I had


available in my busy schedule at the front door each night. AND–Because I took massive action,


incredible intimacy was cultivated and has now become a major part of my marriage over the




What we will talk about was born from that journey I took. It was well worth it! I think if will be


for our listeners too.”




“Well, then let’s get started. So, you know I think that all the audience knows that marriage is


hard. Marriage is a constant work as partners. And, even for great husbands romance doesn’t


just happen every single day, 24 by 7. Tell us a little bit about how husbands can make their wife


excited, and excited to see them when they get home, excited to see them everyday, more and






“Great. This is where most relationships start each day, in the majority of marriages. In the


morning time husbands and wives are battling morning brain fog, they have cobwebs and need


to wake up with coffee in hand… if they see each other at all. And in many, many households


the wife works as well. So a lot of the drive for the romance in a relationship happens when the


husband comes home and if things don’t go well during the week than the weekend can be shot


as well.


That was my experience. Gaining my wife’s affection hit an all time low when I was a busy


Asset Manager for a Firm that managed Foreclosed properties… Fix em up so they could be sold


again—that kinda stuff. My wife was home all day with our two rowdy 1 year old twins.


I was exhausted from working overtime to land that promotion, and she was worn out from


chasing two babies all day… At the end of the day we would just collapse. Like I said before…


since I wasn’t doing the right things at the front door right when I got home there would be no


magic happening in our marriage-Zilch!


I would collapse in the bed each night, but really out of pure desperation amidst the sheer


exhaustion I was experiencing—I would lie awake each night wishing, hoping and praying that I


could just have some intimate quality time with her to make it all feel better. Really, especially


when life is hard—sex with my wife could make life seem wonderful for just having the time




I think we can all relate to that simple truth and we have all experienced those nights that are


filled with frustration and sexual tension that just goes nowhere!


It is time to END that frustration1


So that is when I finally had enough and started to take a little bit of time each day after work


to come up with these 7 secrets that totally transformed my marriage into something that is


consistently satisfying for both of us. I’ll share a little bit more about that later…


So starting with when you first get home from work and there can be a huge transition from


leaving work, which is a totally different environment than your home. You need all the help you


can get.


“The answer to your question Dave, is Secret #1: Call out to her… And, Win her Heart (I


set this up so she’ll respect you the Minute you’re Through The Door). Here’s what you


need to do. As soon as you get home, crack open that door and call out for her.


Seek her out by calling out her name. That is exactly what I started doing first to change my


marriage around.


This really works because every woman in different walks of life wants to be pursued by her


husband. At first she might not want to come to you when you start doing this. Popping your


head through the door And calling out her name. Not necessarily in the manner of Dick Van


Dyke or the Honeymooners, from 50 yrs ago, leaping through the door and yelling,”Honey I’m




Really, deep down inside she is waiting and interested in being with you. But, to acquire the


skill in this #1 secret you must begin by using a soft and rather quiet call of her name. As you


start doing this consistently, in the coming days you can begin to use your normal voice that she


comes to expect. But, you kinda have to tread softly in the beginning.




Wow that’s actually really interesting. Now I know a lot of guys from the call. From the


voicemail might be listening and saying this sounds great, but how do I do this. Like how do I


get from busting it all day at work. I’m exhausted. I’m driving home. My brain’s foggy. Now I


just need to open up the door and kinda be peppy. And be this best of the best guy in order to get


to her. How do I convince my wife I am really making an effort here. And, I can be trusted and


reliable at the end of the day . Do I have to mask my exhaustion from work.




Well, you don’t have to mask your exhaustion. If you are trying to put on a front and fake


everything… you know our wives are smarter than we give them credit for and she’ll know that


you are not being real with her… You might get some brownie points for trying at least… over


not really trying, but there is a better more natural way to go about this.


“I call Secret #2: Squeeze the Trust. Sometimes it doesn’t even have to be in your words, or


your pep. You don’t have to be super excited. What really matters is your body language. You


might have had the worst day in your career… and if your arms are reaching out for her and you


have a posture of being open and wanting to connect with her right away, then she will respond


in the same way.


You are already talking slowly and quietly to her so this kinda matches with that in the first


place… you’re not just bursting through the door and tripping over the autumun like dick Van


Dyke. Or, you know whatever… something like that. You can be real subtle and you don’t have


to play it up. And that will build trust she can count on. It won’t take long before she will be


conditioned by you to meet you at the front door.


It all depends on who’s commute is longer, or if she is home with the kids or whatever, then she


will be waiting there for you to come home. You have to remember that women are the more


social, emotional and relational ones in the marriage.


If you are making these genuine gestures in the beginning she is going to meet you with an


energy all her own that can really help you. And, just a little bit of doing things relationally


with her in the right direction and she will meet you more than half way. So this is a really good


way to get her involved as well and it doesn’t take a lot of work or energy – it just takes a lot of


openness to embrace so to speak.




Alright. So I think I am starting to get this. Come home after a long day. I open the door I call


her name out. We make some eye contact. I give her a hug. Show her my body language that


I really care for her. What’s next? Cause, I mean, I can do all this. But, I’m exhausted. I’m


exhausted. Do I need to—Do I get some time I guess to destress, loosen up a little bit, or do I


need to just keep pouring this on with her.




Well, with this type of situation in which you do not have a lot of energy, which is most days


after work.


OK. So you just finished your commute home to your house from work and you need to de-stress


a bit.


This was the key to my success with my own wife. I had the most stressful non-stop job in that I


had ever had… and when I got home I knew I was going to have to step up to the plate and help


take care of the twins… and be there for my wife. I was exhausted and didn’t have anything left


to give.


My friend listening to this the way the economy is these days most companies pile the work on


so heavy and expect so much out of us that at the end of the day there is nothing left to give.


So, at this point, normally, you loosen your tie. You unbutton your shirt. You run your hands


through your hair and you take a deep breath in and then out. That kinda stuff. Most guys do this


the second they get in their car after work in the first place. And, that’s a very good thing. I know


I did.


I started taking a little bit of extra time to distress just a little bit and have a little bit of me time


before driving up to the drive way. That is what I am promoting here. I recommend that you as


the husband need to take a little bit of time for yourself to relax and stretch. I’m not talking about


happy hour here though.


After leaving work, once you’ve beaten all the traffic… before getting home make sure you take


a little bit of time for yourself to destress, relax a little bit more, stretch some more—You know


it’s is a really good idea to stop somewhere close to home to hit your personal refresh button so


you can go home and get things going for the rest of the night.


You know it’s good to do all those things, but then when you’ve decompressed from all the


stress of the day and dealing with any dumb-dumbs at the office that you have to deal with—and


leave it all behind. It is more important that you do leave it all behind.


To a wife, appearances mean EVERYTHING!


At this point, you’re ready to start Secret #1: which is calling out to her to win her heart. That


means you are ready to call out her name as you walk through the door.


Now, bearing all this in mind… Secret #3 is called: Seriously Loosen Up!


You should still look your best, like you did when you first left for work. Go ahead, button that


shirt button up again. Tighten your tie up, and comb your hair, do a breath check, maybe a tic-tac


or a mentos breath mint is in order here.


So, the important thing is that she will appreciate the fact that you care about your appearance,


and she’ll notice your attention to looking good. In her brain she will start to equate that with


“romance and effort.” And, you don’t have to do a lot after that to convince her you want to be


with her.


But, I know sometimes you cannot leave it all behind at work. That’s OK too. Sometimes that


can’t be helped. You can use that as something to talk to your wife about. Just make sure that


you fix yourself up and look your best and open up to your wife about how it made you feel.


The thing to take home here (no pun intended) is to look as good, or better than when you did


when you left for work. If you do that, then you know you’ve done it right.




So, I look good on my way out the door, and I need to look good on the way back into the house?


That’s what you’re trying to say.






Dave: Aw, that’s good, That’s good. So, so what should I say? Is it just enough to just call out


her name. Do I need the first thing I say be, “I love you honey”? What’s after the name is there


something before the name?




Well, this is a nice little trick that you can do, or nice little subtle thing that you can do to pique


her interest.


“I call Secret #4: Catch the Echo. Nothing says, “I love you” better than letting her know that


you thought often of her when you were away at work.


Missing someone is like having a desire to be with them that bounces constantly around in your


mind and soul—kinda like an echo in a cave.


And, as Christian husbands, when difficulties come our way through our work day, we’ll stop


and pray for strength to get through it or for wisdom to handle that problem. And, at the same


time it is a good opportunity to think about what you’ve got waiting for you when you get home.


And, have that as a motivation for getting through your day with excellence and meeting up with


your wife at the end of the day with excellence.


By simply saying, “I missed you so much… I couldn’t stop thinking about you.” You are


showing her that you have been with her all day long… in your mind that is.”


And, wives really care, and are really taken in their heart when you tell them you have been


missing them all day long. Mine sure did… And I suspect all the wives of those listening to this


will too!




Tell me a little bit more about this. Tell me a little bit more about how I can make sure that she


knows I care about her even when I am heads down at work in a big project. You know working


lots of hours and kinda buried during the day without a lot of availability. Tell me what I can do


when I get home to let her know that I care about her.


Start here: rewrite:




Good, well I call this, Secret #5: Actively listen to her. So, you have to make this take hold,


You have to make everything that I am telling you to say to her complete by making sure you


tie in active listening. Each time I stepped through the door doing Secrets 1 through 4 I made


sure she knew that she was my #1 focus at the moment so she could come to expect my love and




So, say to her,


“I missed you so much. I love you, and hey, I can’t wait to LISTEN to how you have been


feeling today.”


Here is a little bit of subtlety to be aware of. You should use the word LISTEN, not hear. There


is a difference between Listening and hearing. This is especially true when it comes to your wife.


Even the words Listen sounds more caring than the word hear. And, I’m not trying to say them




Because… Listening to her means you care about and validate what she has gone through in her


day, and that you actively care enough to listen without interruption.


Speaking of caring enough… as you listen to the rest of this CD, you will have all 7 secrets to


front door lovin`. However, I decided that this small amount of information in this CD is not


enough to get you from going crazy wanting to be intimate with her, to never being turned down


without a real good reason again.


If you take massive action to learn how to cultivate intimacy with your wife, then you will see


amazing results—just like I did.


In reality, true transformation happens through a change of mind and habits. A full course of this


material will make that transformation possible, granted you apply yourself to each step in my 7


Secrets to Front Door Lovin` — 7 week email and video course.


This course offers at least 50% more steps and husband tips connected to each of these 7 secrets,


brought to you with entertaining and transformational videos, practical action worksheets, and


guides that you can use to have greater influence on your wife’s attitude toward you.


This course is designed to help you the busy professional Christian husband ease into gaining the


intimacy and respect you deserve from your wife.


I want you to be fully equipped because the needs of your wife should not be ignored and there


is so much to lose in your marriage by not taking control of your marriage and it’s level of


intimacy—even beyond what we can cover in this CD, but this is a good start.


But for now, let’s get back to your next question, shall we?




Great! Well, I look forward to hearing more about the full course: 7 Secrets to Front Door Lovin`


as we wrap this up.


Let me ask you another question James. We’re talking about listening right? Does a husband just


sit down and listen? Or, should he do something as his wife talks? What’s important with the


body language, with the hand movements? With the eyes? Everything else.




OK. Well, “I call Secret #6: Build Plato’s Cave.


This is when I got to change the whole environment at the front door and make it work like


gangbusters throughout the rest of the house. I wanted to transform my house from our home to


our love retreat.


When you are already in the house and you have given her a nice hug, and you have told her you


missed her. She is going to have things that she wants to share with you.


Prove to her that you care by listening to your wife share her heart with you, (uhh, that is what


women do when they know you love them, miss them and are validating them through listening)


—The best way that you can best validate their feelings is not to get into a long conversation.


Instead, listen and build an environment that will make intimacy easier and go much smoother.


Go ahead, shut off all distractions. Shut off all media that could be a distraction and actively


listen to her. Make the environment mysterious and listen to her as if she is revealing a deep




Plato’s cave was a story about a mystery in a cave and the people that are in the care are a


captive audience. They are so intrigued and curious about the mystery going on in this cave with


flickering lights and shadows they really don’t care what is going on in the outside world.


We have so much internet, social media, T.V. news and other media bombarding us and


available at our fingertips. If you are going to build Plato’s Cave—you are going to want to shut


all that out.


Pay attention to the fact that there are a lot of flickering lights, shadows and mysterious people in


this story. Because there is mystery in all that… Create that atmosphere. And, for you as a loving


Christian husband, what better mystery is there than your wife—and she will feel loved if you


are willing to focus on her even uhm… when she is still a mystery to you.”


In fact she wants some mystery in the relationship. She wants to feel like she still carries around


a mystique that fascinates you.


The best thing that you can do right now is make her feel like she is still mysterious to you.


Because that is the key to unlocking her hidden passions. She needs to feel like her mind and


body are the most mysterious things in your life. She will take great pleasure in helping you


unlock those mysteries.


No woman wants to feel used. That comes from feeling un-pursued and taken for granted,


especially when you want intimacy with her.




Well, I know I am still a mystery to her and she is still a mystery to me. So, I agree with that


1,000 %.


I have one more question as we wrap things up.


Tell me about this X-Factor. I’ve heard you talk before about Feeling This “X-Factor.” What else


should a best-of-the-best husband do as he listens to her? Tell me a little bit here about your idea


of the X-Factor.




Feeling the X-Factor is the 7


Each night needs to mean something. Make yours extraordinary and romantic!


An intimacy X-Factor is a little extra something that makes intimacy amazing and super


impactful. This is on top of everything that you do when you are making front door intimacy


happen at home each night…


Often it is the key ingredient to any success.


And, the success you want is deep connection with, and intimacy with your wife.


And, it’s really two extra things that go well together as you listen to her… while you are having


a loving conversation with her.


Keep excellent eye contact as you actively listen to her. This is powerful! Mostly because


she will feel a connection between the two of you—You will soon discover just how much


the eyes really are the window to her soul. Also, because most unimportant communication


occurs without eye contact—you will instantly be seen in her eyes as a part of a high quality




Next, do little things to touch her… “gently” as she shares her heart with you. Gently touch her


shoulder. Slowly glide your fingers up and down her arm. Touch her hair if she likes that. And,


initiate any sensual or therapeutic message. This is touch for her that has increased purpose and it


builds intimacy with her.


Those things drive women crazy in the best way imaginable.


OK. All of these secrets, when done consistently, will open up her mind, body, and emotions to


you for the sake of shared romance and intimacy in your marriage. And, it all gets started the


instant you set your foot through the front door each night after work!




Sometimes it seems that the one resource that God has established for a Christian man to seek


sexual fulfillment is the hardest to understand, and the hardest to succeed in. Of course I am


talking about the task of successfully cultivating passion and intimacy with your Christian wife.


She’s the one, and the only and enjoyable outlet for your sexual needs that God has mandated for






and final Secret here. Each night you need to go the extra mile.


I am sure that this is going to be transformative for any willing Christian husband, because as


a Christian husband myself—I know that we have a set of instructions found in the Bible that


acts as a set standard of conduct, or a benchmark to follow in the way we treat our wives. That is


the bedrock foundation I use for all of my advice and I know that it will resonate with other like


minded Christian men.


In particular, I point to Ephesians 5:25 that tells us to “Love our wife as Christ loved the church


and gave himself for her. I also point to 1 Peter 3:7 which tells us to “consider the needs of our




But, I realize that the Christian husband still needs wise counsel on how to go about applying


those verses to his marriage. Non-Christian husbands have it in their power to love their wives,


but the Christian husband has the biblical mandate to do it.


So, you out there, the Christian husband need help understanding the way God made your wife.


And, I offer unique and creative ways to mix it up for her and cause her to notice you, run to


meet you and wrap her arms around you with a ton of respect the second you step foot through


the front door every night after work.


You, the Christian husband need practical techniques to follow in order to make that happen.


I aim to radically touch your God given soul, because God made respect the most important


thing for you to receive in all of your relationships… in your marriage intimacy is so much a part


of respect and just the way things were meant to be.


The same is true for any Non-Christian husband. But, it is with the understanding that because


Jesus died for our sins, that the Christian husbands have the Holy Spirit to help us love even


when it is hard to do so. That is why I focus on front door lovin` for Christian husbands, because


I know the best opportunity for success is at the time of coming home from work, with God’s




And, after an exhausting day of working—an easy to follow step-by-step plan can be a real


life and time saver. I designed this course with you in mind. This is for the “best of the best”


husband, that rather than watching 7 minutes of porn on the internet… will invest 25 minutes,


one day a week for 7 weeks for his marriage.


Your investment that consists of watching and putting into action each step-by-step course that


will arrive in your email inbox each week will be your no guilt Biblical solution for going crazy


wishing she would just make love to you.


Like I said before, with this action oriented material you can’t just sit there and contemplate your


naval while doing nothing.


This is not for the busy husband that will not carve out a few minutes out of his day to gain her


resounding respect, love and devotion.


This course of materials normally sells for $197, but for the next 2 weeks I will offer this at


a discounted price of only $69.95 when you go to the sign up and purchase page at: http://


KeepMarriageAlive.com/frontdoor/ …”


I am making this special price offer because bandwidth for each video sent to this small number


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launched to the public at large… and I would rather have the saving pass on to you so you can


have the results you want for a irresistible price so you can get even more value from each video




That’s less than $10 a week for only 7 weeks, and then after the 7


billed the $10 weekly investment price.


Imagine the incredible feeling of knowing that each night will be intimate. More sex is in your


marriage is a result.


Of course, sometimes life gets in the way of sex happening on a nightly basis, but it will never


get in the way of intimacy. More fulfilling, enjoyable and more frequent sex is a fantastic result.


So, hurry don’t miss this chance to transform your marriage love life right now before the special


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by going online and keying in http://KeepMarriageAlive.com/frontdoor/ to become a part of a


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To your marriage success,




week you will no longer be