A fighting attitude that saves marriages

Do you fight each other or… do you fight together against the pressures of life that tear marriages apart?

You’re gonna learn about one couple that I REALLY admire, because they have a certain something that is “Spot On” for what I am gonna talk about here. And it is this:

Attitude is the “X-Factor” of marriage reconciliation

My 7th grade science teacher, Mr. Miller was a likable, funny guy. He liked to figure his students out. He once told me, “James, your a lover, not a fighter.”

Well, Mr. Miller. You were wrong!!! 8 years of marriage have proven that over and over again. I am a  lover who fights. And I won’t back down.

I have come to a realization about myself that helps me see things clearer in my marriage. I think about what my attitude is like when Sarah and I are having a fight. It helps me know when I will quickly work through a problem.

Or, when the problem is going to pull both of us down… That is, until we solve that problem.

That realization is this: When I have a fighting attitude the problems quickly get resolved. When I have a losing attitude I get my feelings hurt — And, I don’t do the right things to fix the problem quick enough.

The fighting attitude that I am talking about here is a specific kind of “positive” fighting attitude. If I take my attention off of how I feel personally about the given problem — And, instead focus that energy on figuring out:

  • What my wife means by what she says
  • What the real problem is
  • What I did to add to the problem, AND then
  • Communicate that I am sorry for that particular thing

After that we can both feel better about the problem. We can work together to solve that problem. It just makes life better for the two of us.

Another example of a fighting attitude that might save a life and a marriage

I recently read about an intensely heroic couple. The thing that Nolan and Megan Keane are fighting together is the spread of brain cancer in Nolan’s brain.

For four years they have been fighting this deadly foe that threatens their dreams together. Their dream was simple: Live together as man and wife.

“After the results of a recent MRI showed that Keane’s cancer had spread and he had months left to live, Keane told family and friends his final wishes were to marry Carstens — something he considered long overdue — and take their honeymoon to the place he proposed, Walt Disney World.” (Couple’s Dying Wish for Dream Wedding)

When Megan exclaimed, “He’s been such a fighter. He’s grown into such an amazing person. He was amazing person and he’s even more amazing now” of her husband, I knew that both of them had the right fighting attitude that saves marriages… and possibly the life of Nolan as well. Pray for them when you think matters in your life are unbearable. And, be inspired by their love and fighting spirit. (Couple’s Dying Wish for Dream Wedding)

Now that is what I call a positive fighting attitude! If you want to share what you think about what a positive fighting attitude means to you…

Or, if you want to share what you think about these brave newlyweds who are showing the world the meaning of love , then please leave your comment below.


Sher, Lauren, (3/16/2013). Couple’s Dying Wish For Dream Wedding, Disney Honeymoon Comes True. Good Morning America. (ABC News). Retrieved from http://gma.yahoo.com/couples-dying-wish-dream-wedding-disney-honeymoon-comes-051306942–abc.news-sex.html



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