A Marriage Crisis Can Strike When You Least Expect It; My Story

"I'm Going In!"  I had to treat coming home like a mission that needs a hero.

“I’m Going In!”
I had to treat coming home like a mission that needs a hero.

The story I am about to share with you is the reason why I have a passion for seeing good Christian men like you win big by both balancing your work/family life, and succeed in both!

When that happens, your wife will be the “happiest” woman on the block. A happy wife that is nurtured right will wrap her arms around you to bring joy to your life in every way imaginable.

I like win, wins, don’t you?

For me, it all started by facing that grim admission of my wife… when the possibility of divorce hit me like a ton of lead bricks. My life has never been the same since!

It was a chilled November in our Florida home just a mere hour or two before we would see the first light of the sun shine through our window. Trust me, here in Florida when it feels really, really cold–It’s not due to the ambient temperature. Sarah, my wife finally came out and said the “D” word for the 1st, and well, last time of our roller coaster marriage.

I struggled with all my might to lift my crushed soul. My face was wincing from the blow she dealt.

I looked up.

Two feet between us felt like ten.

This wasn’t poker, but it felt like she put all her cards down on the table. It was my turn and I “pony-uped”, and admitted that I was wrong.

However, I wasn’t unprepared to answer her wisely. When I was in the US Army my room mate, “Specialist Chance” (He was “One” of my most interesting room mates) who was studying to be Military Police taught me how to approach a potentially explosive situation through what is called the “strip-phrase” technique.

As a side bar, I will have to tell you more about Specialist Chance some other time in my newsletter. He was the only soldier that every one called by his first name—instead of his last name. It would be like calling Private Pile USMC, Private Gomer. But, that will have to wait for now. No more bunny trails. . .

OK.

Back to why I wasn’t unprepared.

I knew that true leaders never back down, and never surrender to defeat…

But… for 10 seconds that really felt more like a slow eternity I felt the regret I never thought I would experience… having lost my beautiful bride.
The old saying was now a reality I had to face:

You don’t know what you got… till you lose it.”

For what seemed like an endless moment in time I had lost her. I needed to snap back into action, and do whatever was necessary to win her back, for GOOD this time!

You should have heard me. I said in a very calming tone of voice–palms facing her as a sign of truce to simmer down any tension,

So, let me see if I understand what you are saying to me here.”

I took a deep breath, gathered up the facts. I knew enough to confirm with her, the reasons she had been treating me with cold indifference, and turning down my advances. I fessed up to my zonked unmindful failure to recognize there really was a problem at all. That is why she had to spell it out in no uncertain terms.

I was that busy in my life. I had not made the most of my time while not working, because my mind was always at work, instead of being fully present with her and the kids.

Anyways, I relayed back to her what she informed me concerning her feelings. I repeated back to her what those feeling were that she felt, which led her to believe that I didn’t care anymore. I assured her that I would start:

1. Paying more attention to her needs

2. Spending more “Quality” time with the family (she understood that I was busy a lot)

3. Make her more important than the new business I was starting that took up all my time.

I fessed up, and validated her feelings of being replaced by my new business. I found a trusted marriage saving resource on the inter-webs (as I am fond to call it), but that is best left for another time. Time to focus on the action I took to save my marriage.

I made the needed changes immediately — the biggest of which was partnering with her to reset my business hours to ensure that she and I had enough quality time together. I knew that successful marriages are investments in each other.

I was now making the most of my time while not working, my mind wasn’t always at work anymore. I started to be fully present with she and the kids. That was good!

The Imperfect, Yet Favorable Model Of Winning The Heart Of Your Wife

Was I completely in control of the situation?

Yes, and a Big No. I was open to asking her for help. I asked her for suggestions as a trusted partner and adviser to making our marriage work. We were managing the imperfect marriage of chaos, and order… as imperfect partners who are still learning to accept each other.

Thank God, that night my wife was faithful, loving, and patient. She still is that bedrock of faithfulness!

Now my marriage is the most devoted, fun, and spiritually rewarding it has ever been.

The Point Of My Story: Women Are Emotional Creatures

A busy husband should expect her to be swept away by overwhelming despair that leads to the threat of divorce.

If both you and your wife are feeling similar tension between each other…

If your wife is shrinking in quiet, lonely desperation like mine was….

If you are too busy to really put it all together, and really relate to how she is feeling…

Then this is the single most important message you will read, and take massive corrective action on…..

Christian Husbands Have The Skills To Rival “The Song of Solomon”

Integrity, honesty, and “Stick-To-It-ness” are some of the best qualities that a husband can have. Those things happen in many careers. Yet, the greatest single dimension of great men is “willingness” that is wrapped in “true-grit.” Of all chosen careers out there today, tried and true professional Christian husbands hands-down have ALL these qualities in spades.

It is because you have the heart to apply your self through knowledge, heart, skills, and sheer will of determination stemming from the bedrock foundation of Christ Jesus in your heart that makes it clear to me that you have what it takes to meet the challenge to rival the “Song of Solomon.”

The key to triumph through the challenge to rival the “Song of Solomon” is tied to your experience in learning that to best influence others… it’s not about pushing emotional hot-buttons. It is about building a relationship of trust. The kind of relationship that makes helping others feel important, listened to, and appreciated benefit everyone.

That quality you have is why I am so sure that you have got the right-stuff to daily win the heart of your wife, and have a true work/life balance that brings real success to your life as well!

The Promising Divorce Proofing Journey

This is a journey you can take in order to become the worthy and dependable man your wife needs. Life, like marriage is a journey. You and your wife will have your ups and your downs. Soon after hearing the shock of my life from my distraught wife, the Big “D” word, we started taking mini-vacations to family friendly New Smyrna beach.

We made romantic and loving day trips with the kids, but we needed alone time. It was a whole lotta good mixed with a little bit of the not-so-good for our marriage.

We were working towards divorce never being something that is on the table.

Life will never be perfect, but the beauty of a strong marriage is that we triumph together with:

  1. Communication
  2. Validation, and 
  3. Commitment

There is ONE MISTAKE that’s so common and so Damaging that I had to single it out just to make sure that…

You are not doing this without knowing

How to avoid it if you’re on the verge of doing this

How to correct it if you are already doing this

The taking her for granted mistake most all married men make . . . You’ll discover what that one mistake is here >> Next Page >>