Christian Marital Problems don’t Have to End In Divorce-Part 1 by James Hess, Christian marriage writer
If you want the best surefire help for marital problems, then you will seek expert help from marriage counseling. And, you can have a “back-up” as a fail-safe system too! ie. — Trusted and reliable friends who care about you and your marriage!
Sometimes it can be hard to convince your spouse to go with you. When you shop around for a counselor do you know the best questions to ask to get a counselor that will be your best bet for real results. If so, then he or she might follow your lead into the counselor’s office with you.
First, I’ll give you a serious warning against putting-off seeking advice for your marital problems.
Here it is: Cement your marriage into trusting each other again before trust is lost. It is always easier to prevent divorce than it is to stop it once the process has begun. Here’s something to ask yourself:
Why do some marriages end horribly in divorce from seemingly “out of nowhere”, while other marriages go through obvious trouble, but still come out on top?
Hey, their marriage seemed to be doing fine. Now look at the mess they are in.”
The truth is that every marriage is different. Those who seek help before the bottom drops out on the relationship . . . And, learn to trust before they hit communication grid-lock find the reason “why” they will re-unite again.
Second, I will give you some quick questions you can ask to secure the best Christian marriage counselor. . . so you can discover the best ways marriage counselors bring all the pieces together for their successful clients. I will give more tips in the follow-up blog post due in a few days.
Here are the Powerful Top 3:
- “Where, and when were you accredited and licensed in this state as a marriage therapist, because… I hear it’s the toughest kinda counseling in therapy?”
- “Are you a specialist in Christian marriage counseling as a Born Again saved believer . . . Or, is this just one of the types of counseling types you do? We are Christians. There’s 2 of us you know, and we both have to come to terms with x,y, and z based on God’s Truth!“
- “In situations where the marriage does not pose any threat of danger to either spouse; do you advocate for “marriage commitment” over the personal preferences of individuals in that marriage?”
Third, I will give important scriptures to help you through marital problems that you can do on top of seeking help from a Christian marriage counselor. Here they are:
1 Corinthians 7:1-4 (NKJ) No Withholding Intimacy in Marriage
It is good for a man not to touch a woman. Nevertheless, because of sexual immorality, let each man have his own wife, and let each woman have her own husband. Let the husband render to his wife the affection due her, and likewise also the wife to her husband. The wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does. And likewise the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does.”
This is one of the biggest problems facing Christian marriages today. This would be a great verse to bring up in marriage counseling.
1 Peter 3:7 (NKJV) Listen-Up Husbands, so God will Hear Your Prayers
Husbands, likewise, dwell with them with understanding, giving honor to the wife, as to the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life, that your prayers may not be hindered.”
It has to start with the husband. If he won’t try to live in understanding she will not be inspirationally motivated to do the same for you. If she does without having leadership in this area from her husband, then she indeed is led by the Holy Spirit!
Ephesians 5:22-32 (NKJV) This one says it all
Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is head of the wife, as also Christ is head of the church; and He is the Savior of the body. Therefore, just as the church is subject to Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything.
Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her, that He might sanctify and cleanse her with the washing of water by the word, that He might present her to Himself a glorious church, not having spot or wrinkle or any such thing, but that she should be holy and without blemish. So husbands ought to love their own wives as their own bodies; he who loves his wife loves himself. For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as the Lord does the church. For we are members of His body,[d] of His flesh and of His bones. “For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.”[e] This is a great mystery, but I speak concerning Christ and the church. Nevertheless let each one of you in particular so love his own wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.
I write this blog for a lot of families where the husband is out of the home working hard to provide, while the wife is C.O.O. of a bustling family and home. These trust boosting advice, top 3 Christian marriage counselor tips, and verses are indispensable in clearing relationship obstacles from making a marriage a long-lasting Godly legacy.
I decided to add even more value to you in the issue of Christian marital problems by writing a 2 part–conclusion to this blog here: Christian Marriage Counseling: You Can get HELP from Pastors, Therapists, and Friends!
Share your own advice and “marital problems” solutions, or just your story in the comments section below.