Christian Marriage Counseling: You Can Get HELP from Pastors, Therapists, and Friends

Christian Marriage Counseling does not have to be a painful experience! Here are some startling truths about a marriage in crisis, and seeking Godly counsel that few Christians talk about.

Part 2 of Christian Marital Problems series by James Hess. Part 1 available here: Christian Marital Problems

Finding counselors that are just as committed to seeing you walk boldly into the sunset as you are is a MUST!

Finding counselors that are just as committed to seeing you walk boldly into the sunset as you are is a MUST!

Ephesians makes it clear that we are united in faith in the work of Jesus Christ.

That, and the fact that Jesus died for our sins, and was resurrected to make the way for our salvation is supremely comforting.

Yet, when you are in fellowship with your Christian friends, or even with your pastor . . . do you feel comfortable seeking their marriage counseling help? Clearly, trust first has to be established in those relationships before you will share your deepest personal problems with them.

I understand that struggle. I want you to seize these golden tips and strategies with Faith that is alive.

Like James, brother of our lord Jesus writes in his epistle that faith without works is dead–I want you to activate your faith in God’s strength. Right now in the weakness of this marital trial you and you spouse are going through claim the promise of God’s strength in your weakness. Yeah! Be transformed through the “renewing of your mind” that I Biblical-ly offer to you.

First, let me ask you this question:


Exactly how likely are you to go to Christian friends for marriage help?

The internet offers a way to ask questions like this on forums, find help from blogs like this one without having to become vulnerable to betrayal, and back-biting that is simply evil and ridiculous. But, for truly great results from Christian advice you need to take that risk.

It is my goal to help minimize that terrible risk by . . .

  • First, laying some groundwork strait from Holy Scripture 
  • Secondly, providing 3 crucial questions to ask a marriage therapist to make sure they are “Christian marriage friendly”
  • Third, giving 2 easy tips for testing the trustworthiness of any Christian friend for whom you might ask for marriage advice
  • Fourth, I will give you added advice on how to find the right person that might get the results you want even if marriage counseling fails to deliver. Because, If marriage counseling doesn’t work at first . . .  don’t give up on the marriage. It is worth it to seek the help of personal friend that can be a “Marriage Mentor” instead. Find someone who both of you trust to help you solve your marriage problems. And, . .
  • Lastly, I will share a quick fable on the potent power of seeking wise counsel from a wise source.

Marriage Scriptures Give Us A Reason to Fight for the Marriage “For Better or Worse”

Jesus said that a marriage is binding, accept for the case of adultery. In Matthew 19:1-9, He made the divorce scripture: “ Deuteronomy 24:1-4” more spiritually demanding, because Jesus does not want our hearts to be hard-especially if we are born again believers!

The Pharisees also came unto him (Jesus), tempting him, and saying unto him, Is it lawful for a man to put away his wife for every cause?

And he answered and said unto them, Have ye not read, that he which made them at the beginning made them male and female,

And said, For this cause shall a man leave father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife: and they twain shall be one flesh?

Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder.

They say unto him, Why did Moses then command to give a writing of divorcement, and to put her away?

He saith unto them, Moses because of the hardness of your hearts suffered you to put away your wives: but from the beginning it was not so.

And I say unto you, Whosoever shall put away his wife, except it be for fornication, and shall marry another, committeth adultery: and whoso marrieth her which is put away doth commit adultery.” [emphasis mine]

It is a SIN problem, NOT a Relationship Problem!

Christian married couples that take this seriously, are faced with a serious challenge. To hold scripture as the inerrant, infallible, word of God as THE authority in their lives . . .  they must seek God’s strength in order to live by these words.

Unless the problem facing the marriage is a “matter of adultery”, the only Biblical way to handle marriage problems is through payer, seeking strength a midst your own weakness to come to terms of reconciliation. Also, one way to help that marriage saving effort is to seek Godly marriage counseling from therapists, pastors, and trusted friends.

3 Crucial Questions to ask a Christian Marriage Counseling Therapist

  1. “What is your experience helping Christian couples with their problems?” If he or she has helped a great deal of struggling Christian married couples, then there is a good possibility that he or she has successfully helped in the reconciliation process for your own situation, and can point to scriptural authority as a source text–if they themselves are Christian too.
  2. “Do you believe that we can both experience the same outcome and benefits from your counseling?” This is kind of a trick question. If they answer, “Of course!”, then there may not be enough understanding of the differences between men and women that do not easily produce equal satisfaction.
  3. “Do you believe that marriage commitment involves growing and maturing in personal and spiritual maturity on an individual basis?” God has set up the standard of spiritual maturity as a MUST in Godly marriages!

I promised you a secret test and “marriage mentor fable” to you. They are waiting on page 2. Did you catch that? Don’t miss out just click here for page 2 >>> Find Trust In Christian Friends and Each Other Again!

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