Ephesians 5:21-33–Brothers in the Lord MUST Encourage Each Other About Marriage

“So you want to gain Godly character AND inspire your wife to respect you? Surround yourself with Godly Men who KNOW and Live by the word of God!” – by James Hess

Ephesians 5:21-33 Jesus is more than enough!

Ephesians 5:21-33 Jesus is more than enough!

Got what it takes to love and respect your wife?

This was a trick question.

God has made it clear in Ephesians 5:21-33 that you, the Christian husband is the spiritual head of his wife, and household. You simply must love her unconditionally.

Sanctified through Christ

Even though . . . we are ”saved” by the finished atoning work of Jesus on the Cross–we are still in a process of sanctification. As James 1:12-18 makes it clear;

We face temptation–not of God–but of our own lusts (pride).

Yet, God gives us perfect gifts (the wife to the husband, and vice verse), and it is part of His will that we be His children. If we live life by the spirit of God and submit to one another . . . then God will lead us to be able to really love and respect each other.

Ephesians 5:21-33: A Godly husband is the spiritual head of the family

In Ephesians 5:22 it first tells wives to submit themselves to their husbands as a matter of hierarchy. This is a conscious choice that a wife needs to make each day. If she does so she is being obedient to God. But, as soon as the chapter gets to the heart of the matter in verse 25, and 28, and 33 it tells the husband to first love his wife. Only later at the end of verse 33 does it tell the wife to respect her husband.

Learn from a Godly Marriage Mentor

If you do not havelove and respect working like a well greased machine in your marriage, then make sure you are mentored by a Godly man who does have this “at play” in his marriage.

Don’t have that kind of friend yet?

No problem! You can set “that” as a goal for yourself.

Until that happens here’s an awesome goal to reach: In 1 month’s time from now. . .  Receive a smile from your spouse for having told them,

I am most happy,… when I see that you are happy. I am happiest about your happiness.”


The smile means you are believable to him or her.

That’s it. Just 17 words can start you off toward gaining her respect.

Looking closer, this phrase contains several love signals

  1. We are “together” on a journey towards greater joy in marriage
  2. This marriage is special, and we have a purpose together
  3. I put you first in our marriage–You are special to me!


Wisely Choose a Marriage Mentor

Life can be really hard at times. It is good to have a friend who has been there. Wisdom flows from those who have walked the narrow path, and have the wisdom to share. One of the best ways you can KNOW that your Christian friend is a “good” and “Godly” mentor for you is to ask him if he knows what Ephesians 5:21-33 really says.

He does not have to get it right word for word, but he should be able to tell it to you in his own words. Moreover, he should be able to prove it in the life and love that he shares with his own smiling wife.

Don’t Leave Any “Good Things” on the Table

Remember, if you let this go and do not work to build a marriage that reflects Christ’s example for us all, then you will leave a legacy on the table that could have been for God’s Kingdom.

After all, we all will have to give an account as Christian husbands before God for what we did do, and did not do. And remember . . .

Ultimately, Ephesians 5:21-33 boils down to loving submission to the full body of Christ. But, we are to submit on a “deeper” level to one another in our own marriages. A husband that uses his authority to abuse or “Lord” over his wife in a non-Christ-like manner will have to give an account to God on judgement day for that.

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