You want to fix your relationship with your spouse, right? Here’s a quick question for you then. Do you want to work for a loving? … A loving relationship that is!
It boils down to an Easy equation:
“Work from the heart + an attitude of trust and respect = successful relationship.”
Do both the husband and wife have to do this at the same time?
Yes! Because trust must be in place for this to work! You can get your spouse to want to fix things with you tho!
But — If there is no trust in the marriage, then getting that back in place is the #1 priority. More on how to make that work if it’s just you who is working at fixing things a little later.
But first, are you ready to look in the mirror and accept your part in the problems, work hard at this, and make the needed changes? If not, come back when you ready. But don’t wait too long. If you do… you may not have a marriage to fix when you have come to your senses.
Drudging along, risking the possibility of ending up bickering again when you try to patch thing up just plain sucks! Instead, try seeking renewed passion for one another and life in general by getting away from it all – focus on having low-stress fun together.
- Remember those attractive qualities of your partner
- Go out on a date together at least once a week
- Focus on helping each other get through stressful times together
- Start a project or fun activity together, for which both of you enjoy
- Exercise together, fun physical activities lower cortisol “stress hormone” levels
- Flirt and take steps to promote sexual intimacy
- Discover together the joys of daily focusing on how to fix your relationship together
It only takes a small spark to light a powder keg of passion for each other– even if you gotta strike the match a few times to get it going. Use that passion to help you want to fix it so that you can grow to love each other for whom each of you are as individuals and as a long-term partnership.
Its about the team Charlie Brown!
Focus that new passion towards becoming a team again. Make it the focus of your relationship saving efforts. That is the way to go from bitterness to blissfulness through your efforts!
If you want the relationship, then just think of how much closer together you could be to your partner in your relationship if you start thinking like, well… a partner for them. Treating your spouse or significant other like an equal partner will foster love and support for you and your interests.
Of course that’s because you first invest heavily in the best interest of your mate. You will see that helping each other and communicating well creates common goals both of you can feel good about.
Here are the communication tips:
- If you raise your voice in frustration you raise a wall of defense in your spouse. It will happen. Just recognize it, apologize and try again. If your anger is too much for you; give yourself enough time to cool down before starting again.
- Take the time to discover the way your mate processes information. Sometimes using too many examples or metaphor will lead to confusion. If keeping it simple works for them . . . make it work for you.
- Always ask if they understood you. Ask them to say it back to you just for good measure. Be kind to each other in all of these techniques.
Warning: Explicit “Bio-Graphic” Content!
Learn all that you can about his or her life, his or her circumstances of life while they grew up. Use that knowledge to first, understand where your mate comes from when he or she behaves in a way that offends or hurts you. Having that background knowledge allows you to sympathize instead of react harshly towards your spouse when doing so is unfounded.
Paint a Prettier Picture
Beyond that, it is also important for you to maintain a positive “view-point” of your spouse or significant other. For the sake of promoting your endeavor to best figure out how to fix a relationship, overlook the shortcomings of your spouse or significant other. Rather, you could choose to look at the inner person that is the true person, whom you have built a relationship. It takes mental preparation. You gotta decide to want to do it really.
But… viewing your spouse in a positive light and making them feel good about themselves when talking to them is “relational money” invested in a “relational stock” that pays extraordinary dividends.
Do the kind of communication that involves talking about the good and the bad. Deal with the Bad and Commit to the good.
Putting it all together now…
You may not have all that relationship stuff in place yet. If you only remember one thing – Remember, the quality of mutual honor, respect, and a concern for the satisfaction of your partner will make your partner want to at least trust you again… that’s a good start!
I want to share some well earned secrets for avoiding some of the most common mistakes for restoring a marriage to better help you win back your loved one in a report I have prepared through the form below. Check it out here: 15 Marriage Restoration Mistakes to Avoid… and What to do Instead report, Absolutely Free!