How to Save a Marriage Using Leadership

A Leader Sees the Brilliant Horizon. A Manager Navigates the Way There.

You are trying to Save your Marriage – I say Good for you!

I totally applaud your courage in that effort!

However, are you suffering the frustration of trying to be organized and wanting to inspire hope in your spouse?

It can be hard just to figure out where to start.

You might be wondering, “how do I get the devotion, romance, or love of my spouse?

The answer will surprise you!

Do you really want to do what it takes to make your marriage work?

When your spouse married you he or she had real expectations of real commitment, honesty, and that you would be there for them – through thick and thin!

Character driven leadership will cause a husband to greatly influence his wife to want to save the marriage.

It takes building strength of character. Look in the mirror and examine your thoughts, ideas, and emotions and take the time to face them “head on.”

Leader Know Thyself

It is no secret that good leaders have emotional intelligence about their own strength of character. And, the relational and emotional needs of those they lead.
Incredible leaders take on the challenge of knowing his or her weaknesses and works to make them strengths.

My secret weakness is this:

I have never been a good communicator.

My wife loves me despite that fact.

My real friends tell me when I have, “lost them.”

It is the bane of my existence.

I came to terms with that.  But, everyday I work hard to get that much better at it.

I have to push through the handicap. It takes strength of character to face that challenge…

To build the emotional skills necessary to communicate with others well.

I am steadily winning the fight to reach others better.

Read through my blog starting with the older posts 1st. As you read on… You should see a trend towards better communication.

My writing aint half bad now either.

That is how I know you too can win when you put your energy into building Strong leadership character.

Character is the glue that keeps our values connected to our actions.

A great leader keeps all three together for making him or her a source of positive influence. As a positive influence you can best steer the course of your marriage towards a brilliant and happy future, together.

Leadership makes sure that the right goals that best suite your marriage are put in place.

For help in the “visionary” leadership and goal setting area of marriage leadership, check out: Secrets of Inspirational Vision

Be a Marriage Manager too!

Also, you can best be able to make sure your goals are met as a marriage manager. If you coordinate actions in the marriage and
set up romantic and relational opportunity you will achieve your marriage goals.

There are many management theories out there. I will not
bore you with too many details accept that which is vital
to a strong relationship.

Consider the situation and decide if you need to approach
a critical situation (lets say… a conflict resolution talk
between the two of you for the sake of saving your marriage)
from one of these particular managerial styles. These are just a few of the most appropriate ways to go about managing the situation from which to choose.

Consider the “Scientific Management” approach; quickly move
from solving one issue to the next in a systematic fashion or…

The Administrative Management” approach (More relational
version of the Bureaucratic Mgmt style); This flat approach
may work well with organizations, but in order for it to do
well in a marriage…

established roles are required when both
are in agreement and sensitivity to the needs and desires of
the one being led.

Traditionally, the husband leads here. However,
roles may be reversed if the situation calls for it. Sometimes a wife simply knows how to do
it better!

And last but not least, the “Human Relations Management” Approach;
This approach is a “consider the value of each member” style of management. For
marriage relationship building I like to modify what is called
the “Hawthorn Effect” in which people change their actions if
he or she knows someone is watching… to be something like… knowing
that we are being valued and appreciated in the relationship
will lead that spouse to put his or her best foot forward.

If these give you some relationship management ideas, then I
I think you have the heart and mind of a great manager of your

Now I want to move towards the subject of:

Leadership and Motivation

Motivation is a process that occurs internally to influence
and direct a person’s behavior in order to satisfy his or her
needs. There is an external aspect of this that is relevant for work
organizations based on strict authority and payment, but it
would be inappropriate in a serious relationship.

There are many theories here, like Maslow’s Hierarchy of needs,
Herzberg’s Hygiene Factors, Theory X & Y from McGregor, but
for our purposes… I want to focus only on Motivation Factors
(Herzberg) and Theory Z from Ouchi and how true leadership
plays a role in both of these!

Let’s go back to Leadership for a moment. It is a process of
influence, whereby the leader influences others towards goal
achievement of for our purposes… transcendence and encouragement.

A good leader will use what he or she knows of a given goal, situation,
and most importantly that of the person being led.

When a leader uses motivation factors, they use positive rewards
that are intrinsic and lead to greater personal satisfaction
of the person being led. It drives people to succeed! All of this
works because most of us love the feeling of achievement,
recognition, a sense of responsibility, advancement, and an
opportunity for self and team development.

Could that be you,your spouse, and your marriage?

Your spouse’s needs as your priority

If you seek
to first understand your spouse’s needs and then make them feel
good through the proper reward. You actually take part in your
partners own “self actualization” and success!

When a Leader uses “Theory Z” motivation tactics in a
relationship they seek to handle the needs of their partner
from a more holistic approach.

The emphasis is on collective decision making and
a Big focus on the happiness of the other partner! The pay-off
is what I call on as “Mutually Honor
Based Love”

Combine all of this with the Passion that Great Leaders use
to inspire others, purposeful vision creation and implementation,
and add integrity based on knowledge of self, honesty, and
maturity developed through experience and growth.

What you get as a result is a marriage that is cared for and happy.

True, every marriage relationship experiences ups and downs at different times of life. We can laugh (a little) about it now, but my wife and I have experienced both the highs and lows that come with life together. Our faith in Jesus, and the lessons we have learned over much endurance to meet each others needs above those of our own are the keys to our understanding of these marriage leadership and management principles.


A Tip Just For Wives

If a husband goes through all of the training to become a better visionary leader for both of your marriage then he needs your help to understand how to reconnect on an emotional level. His newly trained leadership skills that help him to know how to save a marriage should point him directly to you.

However, he can’t succeed in this if you are not behind him in it!

Making you #1 on his priority list should best help him to succeed in properly working out how to save a marriage.

He wants you to respect him! But, he will need you to tell him how you are feeling emotionally! Even if he is slow to asking about it! Know that if he is trying, then most likely you are #1 in his heart!

Give him a clue. Tell him how he can best help you to feel secure, understood, and most of all… Loved! Help him to understand your needs.

Any intimate ideas that you have for your relationship together are pure gold! Consider them as such! They are important when both of you are talking, so share them!