9 Secrets that Keep Marriage Alive through Honor Based Love

Welcome to Keep Marriage Alive

You can reach each other – just don’t give up!

Many struggling couples need critical help.  Many have started their marriage in happiness and fulfillment.

Yet, somewhere along the way the reasons why there was happiness got confused and lost. Many men and women I help are afraid of losing their best friend, while that spouse feels trapped… and wants out.

See the problem.

The of tug of war between both of you has become the relationship.

What is Honor Based Love?

The kind of marriage that we found & believe you want to have has one underlying principle that has many applications. The foundation of that kind of happy marriage, and the beginning point of any marriage saving effort is mutually honor based love.

But, before we get into all that let’s get in the right frame of mind with this short music video set to the story of Mel Gibson’s and Julia Robert’s Conspiracy Theory. Shall we? The song is called “Come Back To Me” by David Cook, and the great thing about the movie is that even a crazy person like Jerry, Mel’s character who honors the one they love can win in the end. He won her heart! 

Okay, now Grasp these 9 Secrets

Sometimes it is downright impossible to want to honor your spouse. If the trouble is only just beginning, then it might help to make him or her want to “work it out” together with you through attracting him or her back to you.

Secret #1: Tap into physical desire

 

Feel good about taking even small steps towards awakening passion in your spouse.

Make a point to dig deep into your natural sexual desire for intimacy with your spouse while putting aside as many distractions and sources of stress as possible.

Resolving marriage problems first with a twist of starting to awaken your sleeping intimate passion for him or her will better set up the beginnings of a cohesive relationship.

Taking brave, yet small measures to set up a romantic environment, while you pursue your spouse in an effort to save your relationship will help your communication to “get somewhere” instead of end in bickering and disputes.

Secret #2: Check up on your spouse

Think of the time of your day as a string of opportunities to get the attention of your spouse and find out how they are doing. We’ll call it the “check up.”

Something as simple as making sure to spend time with your spouse, making regular check up phone calls, will show intentionality on your part. Doing this will show your spouse that they are important to you!  He or she will feel loved and worthy of a chunk of your day at different times.

Secret #3: Rush to be with them / Allow Space


When you get a chance to be with your mate, make them the priority.  Drop everything, in a real hurry to be with them.  They will feel your excitement, and get turned on by it. That is how he or she will want to intensify the romance in your relationship with you. We’ll call it the “priority rush”!

But, you may need to give your spouse space if they ask you for it. Respect their wishes! If you spouse asks for a separation, then the only decent thing to do is give them the space they need.

Ask yourself this. Was I being treated unfairly and manipulated before they left? You may need to get support from friends and when you are ready…. Ready to be confident and not an emotional wreck I mean, you can set up a time to talk to him or her. Now you can get to the bottom of things. Ask and be patient, but expect real answers from your mate.

Secret #4: Be considerate

Stop and think about what kind of things they like as gifts. Consider those things that they could use your help with.

Regularly give them special treats that they like. This will BOOST their confidence in you and make them feel special all at the same time! We’ll call it the Every day’s their Birthday Plan”!

Secret #5: Be Prepared

Have a plan ready from one day to the next, concerning how you will better honor them. We’ll call it the daily prep.” 

Secret #6: Think before you speak

Before using hurtful words to put them down, think of words that you could use to build them up in encouragement. We’ll call it the loving sensitivity routine.”

Secret #7: Make opportunities to compliment 

Compliment him or her on their looks, talents, abilities and the things that are important to them! We’ll call it the “look for things to compliment in your mate” – program.

Secret #8: Say I love you and touch
Do these for them within their comfort levels.

We’ll call it the ” intimacy assurance” – program.

Secret #9: Love/Respect


Husbands need to feel respected more than anything & Wives need to feel loved more than anything!

Both husbands and wives need love and respect.  However, men feel best when their wife and others show them respect and a wife needs her love tank to be refilled everyday.  If she does not get her love tank filled everyday she will feel distant and desperate for love.

We’ll call it the understanding your mate’s “can’t live without it” need… so you can confidently follow the next very important Step to keep your marriage alive.

If mutually honor based love is something you are not used to doing, then it is not an easy thing to change, but   it is well worth it!  It involves changing the  the way that you think about and relate to your spouse.

 

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  2. In my marriage my needs are intimacy and respect. Respect is a definite need of the relationship. My relationship will falter and die if we do not give it equally to each other. Respect is fundamental to me. However, I do not expect respect if I am not earning it, but we have set up our marriage based on honoring each other.

    If I do not earn her respect she still honors me and I, her with open, two-way communication to work it out. I then earn her respect by apologizing in the areas, of which I admit wrongdoing! Likewise from my wife.

    Our relationship NEEDS that kind of honoring love to survive and grow. This kind of two-way honoring leads to my second need, intimacy with her. These concepts make up the substance of the two articles I wrote, Keep Marriage Alive, and Marriage in Crisis. I use a lot of what works for my wife and I, which satisfies both our needs.

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