If you are a loving Christian Husband feeling the absolute dumps of being disrespected by your wife, then this may be the most important declaration you’ll hear all year that can transform your marriage:
God declares that the husband is the head of his wife and must love her unconditionally–so it must be shouted from the rooftop. Ephesians 5:22-33.
by James Hess
“Does Giving Unconditional Love Really Inspire Wives to Give A Huge Amount of Respect For Their Husbands the Moment The Man Gets Home From Work?”
I have decided in my life that if I see the world flocking in droves around a new idea for how to live I would hold it in suspicion. I then take that suspicion to the holy Word of God and check the idea with the scriptures. Holding men and women, and specifically husbands and wives to the same “Equal” standards is one such idea.
I fear this idea has crept in to Christian marriages. And, it keeps husbands from leading in the Godly authority given to them by God–and it makes wives nonplussed about their role as the help meet.
So, I will make this bold declaration: It is the responsibility of the Christian husband to lead in love–so he can earn her respect.
I am sure that a woman blogger, or marriage counselor would tell her women readers to respect their husbands unconditionally as a Godly woman. That advice is well and good. But, it is a real shame that a wife has to take the reigns of the marriage and lead in that initiative.
Leading in my marriage according to this seemingly double standard has become “the standard” for my marriage’s lasting happiness.
Love and Respect really are two sides of the same coin
We’ll soon discover that love and respect are “two sides of the same coin” in a very important way. There’s a special responsibility placed on a husband to lead in those marital virtues.
Love and Respect Has to Start With the Husband for it to be God’s Perfect Will
The important way this is worked out in a Godly marriage is that this kind of marriage relationship has to start with Godly leadership. I refer to the role of the husband as the spiritual head of the family. In a Godly marriage there is no way around it. Here are the points in fact of this Godly Truth:
- All Godly husbands will not be perfect and may fail in their leadership role, but that is not the expectation that God has placed on the husband. It has to start with the husband. He is to seek the Lord for strength of character to lead so he can be more like Jesus Christ for his family.
- To love you have to respect your spouse in a way that honors him or her. It’s all about putting their needs above your own . . . and vice verse!
- It has to start somewhere. Men are wired to want and give respect. So, to best love his wife . . . a husband should respect his wife in the way that she needs to be respected. Namely, he needs to do this by understanding her needs for love and relationship.
- Of course, this Love/Respect dynamic is modeled in the marriage of a man and woman that both rely on the power of the Holy Spirit to bear fruit (Galatians 5:22-23) towards a greater intimacy together.
- The man and wife of that marriage walks in the spirit and grows in intimacy with their Lord, Jesus Christ as they walk through life as “One-Flesh.”
No offense to wives, but I know that you really want your husband to stand up and lead like a real man of God!
Let the Wife Make the Husband Glad to Come Home
So what is the real life benefits of fully embracing this Godly Truth of “Love and Respect”? I will let this quote from Martin Luther make it very clear:
Let the wife make the husband glad to come home, and let him make her sorry to see him leave.”