… Before discovering how taking marriage guidance from one source could end in Disaster!
Have you ever found yourself completely trapped in a dangerous situation, of which there was no return… AND anything could happen at the drop of a hat?
That is the situation I found my son and myself in 3 years ago when driving a large 27 foot moving truck trapped on on a one lane, narrow mountain road. Why did I pick that route? I didn’t think to question the GPS directions that sent me into a death trap.
I couldn’t turn around… there was a steep drop off into the woods on my right, and the houses to my left were all on steep embankments that were just a little to steep for a truck that size to use in order to turn around. It got worse when the steep embankments turned into a steep mountain side.
The time in the Army driving on a tank trail in my Humvee in a huge sandstorm that caused everything to look like solid yellow smoke-screen through all of my windows was not as tense and scary as this nightmare! I drove super slow and felt like a huge Rhinoceros walking a tightrope that had sharp turns and bends around the mountain side. I was creeping along at 3 miles an hour, when…
A speeding pick up truck whipped around the corner of the mountain side. As fast as lightning–That pick up truck side-swiped my driver’s side compartment and was picked up and sent hurdling through the air almost into the mountain side.
My Momma Told Me. “You better shop around.” — “Thank you Smokey Robinson and the Miracles.”
Sometimes we settle for the first marriage guidance offered by friends and family. I bet Smokey Robinson even asked around for a second opinion when his momma told him to “shop around”!
Going with the first piece of advice from a a marriage writer such as myself, and even a trusted pastor or other counselor can be the wrong advice. Your pastor uses the same Bible I do, but if he was well versed in the Bible he would also tell you that “there is wisdom in a multitude of counsel.” — God says so here: Proverbs 11:14
If you only follow that one single advice giver or piece of counsel long enough you can embroil yourself into a bad decision about the way you handle problems with your mate.
“Now let me tell ya.” — he says.
“Bud, you gotta stand up and demand that she respect you–1 Peter, Ephesians 5, and such verses, say so…”
But, that is dominance posturing. That does not take into account the humility that goes with the leadership role of the husband, and the fact that, likewise, he to is to submit to his wife-and love her, cherish her, provide for her, and nurture her in love… it is time to shop around, Bud.
Your counsel should be well rounded and full in context to the problem
I just have one thing to add here. Good counsel does come from shopping around and from a counselor that shops around the text of scripture to let scripture interpret scripture. Ephesians 5:21 makes it clear: “Submitting to one another out of reverence for Christ.” It’s a mutual deal and there are many marriage counseling (specifically, christian marriage counseling) situations that are better understood through a multitude of counsel and biblical cross-reference clarification.