How Pre Marriage Counseling can save you grief in the long-run

After she accepts his proposal sometime thereafter a wedding date is set.  After that, it would not make sense for couples to then immediately set a date for the divorce.   The divorce rates bare the sad fact that often the difficulties overcome the benefits of marriage in our society and that not preparing for those conflicts could be like setting a date for the divorce.

Setting the wedding date and then immediately setting up some form of pre marriage counseling to try to prevent divorce in your marriage makes incredible sense.

Going to a pre marriage counselor may be a great way to lay a good groundwork for going over common marriage issues. However, the quality of counselors varies but luckily for you, pre-marriage counseling comes in many forms online as well.

Specific information on areas to focus on getting strong together before marriage

  • Communication,
  • Fighting Fair and conflict resolution,
  • Understanding the needs of each other in marriage as well as each others personal, boundaries,
  • How the household will be managed,
  • Child rearing and planning out how many kids you want,
  • Finances,
  • Occupational issues,
  • Family goal setting and future plans,

Also, inspecting each others willingness to overcome these issues will help each of the prospective newlyweds to assess their own and the others ability to face and overcome those and many other issues in marriage.  Already having a stronghold of openness, honesty and “putting all of the cards on the table” so to speak is a good thing to carry into any marriage.

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This kind of counseling can benefit first marriages, second marriages and third marriages.

Good relationship bonds form when all parties resolve beforehand to dedicate time to honestly and openly hashing out the details of the marriage, agree together on what they are getting themselves into; eyes wide open, and do what it takes to strengthen the good parts of the marriage and eliminate the issues.   Then perhaps the surprises of marriage may turn out to not be surprises at all and may end up strengthening the marriage rather than tearing it apart.

From my experience, having 8 years ago gone down the road of pre marriage counseling between my wife and myself… the realities of who we were and what we were deciding to do together came to the surface.

Getting married is a living on the razor’s edge, turning point, life decision.  Not having this kind of counseling can be likened to you and your soon to be spouse strapping yourselves into the pilot chairs of a space rocket, embarking on a life long voyage in outer space without ever having preparation… such as being trained as an astronaut.

“Houston we have a problem” can come in the form of “Honey, I just got fired from my job,” when at the same time she says, “guess what I’m pregnant!”  I know of this because 2 years ago this very thing happened to my wife and me. And, we are weathering these storms together.


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