Win Her Heart Every Single Day!

Pretend this is you. Are you thinking, "I am so blessed. Thank You God."

Pretend this is you. Are you thinking, “I am so blessed. Thank You God.”

The BIGGEST husband mistake is none other than thinking,

Yep, I bagged her. All that work dating her sure payed off! Now I am entitled to some me time as soon as I walk in that door every day.”

The big mistake is thinking that you no longer have to win her heart. I’m talking every single day!

If you put into action for yourself all these 7 cementing strategies, then you will have the keys to divorce proofing your marriage, and win her heart. But, you have to be intentional about the way you think, and act towards your wife first. 

Remember, when I gave you that hint about doing

Just a bit more than stay awake to connect with her on a deeply emotional level.”

There are so many times that you can ask your wife–

How you your feeling?”

– in an attempt to communicate, validate, and cling to your commitment together.

Love will grow more and more in your marriage if before you come back home, you merely stop to take a quick breather–then come on home to be “All In” for her.

But, you may not think that you are taking her for granted in the slightest, but please let me ask you a question.

Sometime after the honeymoon, did you find some new aspiration to to pursue with all your might? Was there a promotion at work, a new business venture, a new thrilling sport, or buying that Skye boat?

 

If that is the case, as is common with most married men, and I am not immune, or innocent of this, then guess how that made your ‘beloved bride’ feel.

You guessed it!

Well, back then my wife felt replaced. She felt taken for granted. She wanted more then anything to connect emotionally. At that point, it didn’t matter to her how much dough I could bring home.

And, this is common to many wives. 

All of these things are fine, but they should not be the focus when God, and the heart of a wife require prominence in the heart of a man.

Set A Course For Rediscovery Of Your Wife As A Way To Have A Renewed Marriage

Let me ask you another important question. How did you treat her, and carry yourself when you were making her notice you for the first time?

How much did you lavish her with attention, affection, and loving words when you won her heart? — How about when you asked her to marry you? — How about during the honeymoon phase of your marriage?

4. Look at her in an all new way again

Wives respond with incredible affection for their husbands when they are desired by their husbands. It works the other way around too. But, she has a deep psychological need to feel that her beauty — as a woman — has transformative power over you. What I mean is that she wants to transform you from the natural man you are into what I call a “super sweeper.”

I mean, she wants to charm you into a romantic feeling that will sweep her off her feet, and by extension help her to feel safe, secure, and pursued for her BEAUTY.

Romance novels deliver this need to women and do it to a tee — why shouldn’t you do the same? Start sweeping her off her feet by doing this next thing well!

  • Next time your wife is doing something when she is not trying to be noticed by you… Something as simple and un-glamorous as cooking at her stove in the kitchen, let her catch you “looking” her over. Men want their wives to look good for them. She needs the encouragement in order to try again. Start admiring her amazing beauty again even if she doesn’t have make-up on.

This will tip her off that you enjoy and appreciate her beauty. As a result, she will begin looking good for you regularly! The name of the game is building her ~A-N-T-I-C-I-P-A-T-I-O-N~. More on that to come soon.

Slow and steady handed love wins the race to your wife's heart. Flirt. The pure anticipation of it all will be the Pied Piper for her Romantic heart.

Slow and steady handed love wins the race to your wife’s heart. Flirt. The pure anticipation of it all will be the Pied Piper for her Romantic heart.

5. Listen deeply–But, with your eyes too

You will be able to work wonders with this psychology in the way you look into her eyes, while listening and talking to her. This need… the need to have her beauty appreciated by you that makes you look deeply into her eyes is powerful stuff! — And that brings me to my next point.

Listen. I submit to your consideration that women engage in relationship through deeply connected face-to-face communication. There, we are back to the first C, communication. It has to involve intently listening, and sharing feelings with each other.

Feelings are “OK” to talk about, even if you just say, “Sure, I felt okay about that . . .” You don’t have to get all graphic with your feelings if you are not into that sort of thing.

However, she feels like she gets to expressly communicate with someone else when that person lets down barriers that protect against rejection. Yep. This involves being vulnerable.

Trusting her enough to share as much as you are comfortable.

Actively Listen To Her–You Have The Easy Part

If you are looking her deeply in her eyes, showing that you acknowledge and validate what she is sharing. There’s that big “V” again, validation. You will validate what she is saying easily through your eye contact.

Head nodding, and saying stuff like,

Oh, I get it….”

Or,

OK!”

Or, simply saying,

I understand. I know that is tough…!”

–it really is important to her.

If you can simply listen to her, hold judgment, and any impatience, then she will feel validated and loved.

Remember that “Strip-phrase” technique I used when I handled my wife’s desperate plea to save our marriage from falling to pieces? This would be a great opportunity to practice it on your wife. It works!

If you lead in this, I bet she will start to trust you enough to:

  • Respect you all the more
  • Affirm your worth to her a lot more 
  • Encourage, and
  • Support you so that work isn’t the only place you load up on it

Heck, she will encourage you in your ability to be romantic. She will be warmly intimate more.

You want her to know and respond with affirmation the fact that you love her. This is the holy grail of making that begin to happen. If you can listen to her, hold judgment, and stop trying to “fix her”, then just 20 minutes of this a day could lead into more minutes of having some real fun.This is an investment my friend.

6. Engage, Engage, Engage!!!

We men have a strong fight or flight reflex. We either “dig-in-to-win” as I put it, or we retreat to our “man-cave” so no one gets hurt.

We tend to level our opponent through brute force and dogged persistence to prove our point. It stems from a fear of being disrespected.

We know that later we will regret hurting those we love, and so we resort to the plan “B” — the flight mode. It sends us straight to our dens for some peace and quiet. But, it offers no resolution to what ever it was we were fighting with our wife about.

So, let’s try plan “C” instead!

A better way to handle this is, again, to use that “strip-phrase” method. You’ll use this to come to resolution and understanding. It is good for diffusing conflict.

Also, you can use it to resolve any bitter resentments your wife may harbor against you that result from plan A and plan B.

This is the key to connection since–let’s face it–on average your wife is more complex in how she feels and thinks about issues. The old adage is true,

Seek first to understand, then be understood.”

Getting this wrong leads to many cold and lonely nights and disrespect from wives. Get it right and you can expect to have a Rock’n marriage!

  • Communication,
  • Validation, and . . .
  • Commitment

These are the most important ways to unlock the secrets of reaching your wife on an “Earth Shatteringly” Emotional level that few men understand. Along with praying together, for each other… These are the first simple things that can make a big difference.

Your leadership, initiative, and boldness need to be paired well with a skill of sensitivity to your wife’s emotional needs that you can only hope to understand through communication.

7. A romantic setting can’t be set up everyday — Or can it?

A ‘Code Red’ in your marriage could be bad, and on the other hand it could be very good. We have laid the groundwork for diffusing any conflict that might tear down a marriage in order to get to the good meaning of “Code Red” in your marriage. And, she does want special attention more often than you think to give it to her.

I know that as men we can get insecure about love and our prominence in the mind of our wife, but we let the cares of professional life get in the way of making that connection.

Don’t be a victim of that mess. You can take that desire to achieve great things that compels you to work hard providing for your family. You can use the fact that your manhood is inseparably tied to taking sincere pride in overcoming adversity, and achieving your goals.

The way to transform your marriage awaits. Take the first step in achieving those goals on the Next Page>>>