5 Shockingly Simple Ways to “Get to Know” Your Wife Again


How many years have you been married to your wife? It is a simple question. Here is the next one. Do you fully understand her as the women God made.

The fair statement is that men and women have different hormones, physiological makeup, and gender psychology . . . So it is extremely difficult to understand each other as we all know.

Even though men and women have different ways of seeing life, they can match fit or simply complement each other. I want to highlight 1 Peter 3:7 where the husband is called to “live in understanding” with his wife. Couldn’t that also be a calling for him to try to understand her in all her mystery and mystique. So in brief, here are the 5 ways to “get to know” your wife again:

  1. Spend time together without interruption, with much focus on each other
  2. Talk openly and honestly with her
  3. Ask “fair” open ended questions of her
  4. Flat out ask her to give you an update on her life and how she feels about it
  5. Smile, with warmth and reassurance backed by tons of grace as she opens up to you!

You do not have to fully understand her — just try to! This is kind of like how God lovingly gave newlyweds a year off from many responsibilities to really grow in love together. Gotta love God’s romantic sense of marriage help (Deuteronomy 24:5):

When a man hath taken a new wife, he shall not go out to war, neither shall he be charged with any business: but he shall be free at home one year, and shall cheer up his wife which he hath taken.”

You will be blown away by how much loveliness, vulnerability, and special charm your wife has . . . if you just dig a little deeper to hit that spring of waiting intimate joy she wants to share. Take little times together like prescribed for the first year to “cheer up the wife which you have taken.”

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