On April 22, 2011, in the news on the Today Show section of the MSN website, there was a featured article, “How Viagra Can Mess Up Your Marriage.” It was a very engaging and thoughtful article concerning Viagra, it’s positive and negative health considerations and how it can either cure a sexless marriage or cause it to suffer.
Some of the health considerations range from the positive, being that it allows men on antidepressants to regain their sexual ability, thereby encouraging them to stay on their medication. Many antidepressants cause sexual side effects, therefore, Viagra has helped remedy those side effects and keep men on their antidepressant medication. Other positive health aspects were the drug’s ability to improve cardiovascular health. Viagra helps open blood vessels, and helps blood flow to improve, making the blood not so sticky in arteries.
One negative health consideration was the warning that men with a heart condition, while already taking nitroglycerin, should not take Viagra at the same time. The two drugs have similar cardiovascular aiding properties and can cause blood pressure to drop too drastically.
The most poignant aspect of the article concerns both the positive, and most importantly, the negative effects it can have on a marriage and for the purposes of this article, extending the warnings about the negative relationship effects among aging married couples suffering from a sexless marriage due to erectile dysfunction.
I have often thought about the issue of older men in retirement communities now having to deal with STDs, due to purchasing sex now that they have their youthful potency again. It is interesting to think about it from a relationship standpoint.
After reading this article, it is not a difficult scenario to picture an older, suspicious spouse discovering her husband’s hidden Viagra stash, while not being told about it, and there not being a change in their marital romance. This is very credible as an example of one of many Affair Signs that cheated on spouses are now encountering. This scenario is is apparent in the article with the following statement that talks about, “wives who worry that their husbands will be more apt to look outside the marriage for sex.”
The damages to a sexless marriage of older partners on a relational front is best described by the following excerpt from the article, “Perhaps more damaging than ignorance of the physical ramifications of ED drugs is ignorance of their potential interpersonal blowback. When not discussed frankly, Viagra can cause a lot of misunderstanding and hurt between couples. “There is something about a hard erection that is extremely important to a man’s identity,” says Steven Lamm, MD, an internist in New York City and author of The Hardness Factor. “And of course most couples would prefer that the man be able to have one. But there are some who may have adjusted to life without sex. Perhaps the woman doesn’t really want it anymore, for one reason or another. And for those couples, the introduction of an ED drug can throw them seriously out of sync.” The article is very thorough concerning identifying the psychological barriers to adjusting from a sexless marriage to the imbalance the wife may feel concerning her husband’s new found virility.
The article then describes that the women who are post menopausal may not have the same ability to engage in the same level of sexual intimacy, for genital health concerns and decreased estrogen levels. This calls to account the hormonal differentiation from the post menopausal wife and the often mainline testosterone levels of her newly, more virile husband.
Moreover, the sexual discussion turns to misconceptions about Viagra and how those misconceptions can tun to sexual misunderstanding within the marriage. Couples used to having a sexless marriage in their later years can forget that to have sexual response and encounter together, there needs to be certain interactions taking place. The sexual interactions and processes that need to be taking place for Viagra to even aid in the erection are sexual feelings, interaction and expectation for sex to actually take place. Also, foreplay can aid in this needed process to make Viagra work. Popping a Viagra pill while watching sports will not all of a sudden take over for the hormonal reactions of increased testosterone levels required to trigger the erection in the first place. The Viagra only allows the increased ability for vasodilation in the blood vessels along with the appropriate vasoconstriction to keep the erection maintained, albeit, sometimes for a few hours on end.
Viagra is not supposed to take the place of the wife for a married man. If a wife believes that she is not longer being pursued because she thinks that Viagra can sexually satisfy her husband, it is understandable for her to erroneously feel that she is being replaced by a wonder drug.
According to the article, “What a lot of women need to be turned on is the feeling that they’re desired,” adds Virginia A. Sadock, MD, director of the program in human sexuality at New York University Langone Medical Center. “So with Viagra, they think, Oh, it’s not me he wants; it’s the Viagra talking. In my practice, I spend a lot of time reassuring them that this isn’t the case — and I tell men they must reassure the women too.”
All of the topics discussed in this article review of the article on MSN’s Today Show section of the website, are essential considerations and knowledge for any aging married couple’s sexless marriage to understand how to break free from the sexless marriage rut on physiological, psychological and emotional standpoints. I recommend that any married couple facing the “sexless marriage rut” due to erectile dysfunction should carefully read this article and apply it’s counsel concerning this complex subject. You can read the article for yourself, How Viagra can mess up your marriage
Again, if you are a wife who is suspecting your husband of having an affair, whether or not it is because you discovered a secret stash of Viagra he is hiding or that you are a suspicious spouse that has noticed unusual behavior that does not add up from your partner you can have the help you need to put your suspicions to rest. There is an investigative e-book resource package I highly recommend by Sarah Paul, available for download that will stake you step-by-step on tactics you can use to determine if your spouse is actually cheating. Also, it will teach you how to track down your suspect spouse’s activities and how to catch them in their deception if they are truly cheating on you. Check it out, you can gain the peace of mind of knowing the truth through the link below