Ask a group of people, “How many of you wish, without fear of reprisal, that you never got married to your spouse?” Those with their hands up would probably cite needs not being met and unresolved conflict as two of the main reasons why they are unhappy in his or her marriage.
Honoring your spouse with what you say and do is the best way to build a happy marriage, where both spouses needs end up being fulfilled. Think of it this way, if you are unhappy with your marriage because of stress, conflict, hurts inflicted by your spouse and loss of excitement that comes from a lack of meeting each others needs in the marriage, then it is because both parties Have to Have it their way. Who wants to compromise and meet in the middle with their spouse if they expect that the enemy spouse will only see it his or her way. This makes you feel that your need to do it your way will only cause conflict. What is the most typical course of action married couples take? Fight with the possibility of no one getting their way.
Unhappy Marriages need a Breakthrough to get Healthy
The only real solution to break this pointless and harmful marriage predicament, or plain old jam, is for one marriage partner to say, “I give up, I’d rather be happy than right all the time.” This doesn’t mean that you stop having your own opinion or desire to have your own need fulfilled by your spouse in the marriage. It means taking drastic steps to decide to put the needs of your spouse ahead of your own needs in an attempt to show your estranged spouse that you really do care about his or her needs. Doing this will cause your spouse to realize that you have changed, and you are someone for whom they can now begin to trust. That trust from having his or her needs made into a priority of your marriage will then turn to into at least a willingness to put your needs before his or her own needs next time it is apparent that you have needs that need to be fulfilled.
Eventually, if you persist to defer to the best interest of your spouse, your spouse should feel secure enough to begin to do the same for you. This end result that is the fundamental basis for a healthy marriage. It is called Mutually honor based love. This marriage relationship concept is introduced on the homepage of Keep Marriage Alive. However, this article is the place where the practical tips of what one spouse may do to begin the process of is located.
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It is true that a successful marriage is additionally based on respect, commitment and honesty through active communication. Active communication is an ongoing, open dialogue between you and your spouse that builds trust in your marriage. However, this article will focus on the tips you need to understand about the first principle of a successful marriage to keep marriage alive in your relationship, which is mutually honor based love.
Mutually Honor Based Love Tips
A good tip to use in order to make this mutually honor based love technique effective is to set aside the time to wait for a great opportunity to tell your spouse how you feel about them. Then segue into asking them how they feel and finding out if they have any needs in their life that you can fulfill. It is important to have an idea ahead of time as a suggestion of what you might do to meet a perceived need that you think they might have. Once your spouse’s need has been established, ask them how they would like you to accomplish the task to take care of his or her need and accomplish it with excellence in mind. Do not insult them with slip-shod executions of your promised actions to meet their need. Show your spouse how you feel about him or her by taking pride in what you do for him or her.
If you have set up a plan to take care of a need that you perceive they have then tell them what you are planning to do in order to meet their perceived need. Your plan does not have to be fancy, unless your spouse appreciates fancy expressions of your love to meet his or her needs. For example, if your spouse is stressed out with housework then tell him or her that you will help them with something that needs to be done around the house.
If your spouse appreciates loving touches, then use assuring touches and holding that will help your spouse know that you are fully engaged in emotional connection with them.
Another great thing to do for your spouse to show them that you care about their needs is to offer to give them a therapeutic and loving message to relieve their stress. It is a great finishing touch to give them a message after you are done taking care of which ever particular need you promised to complete. Make sure that when you are talking to your spouse about taking care of his or her need you make sure communication is clear, and that your plans are clear and established so you can complete the intended fulfillment of your spouse’s need.
Follow through with actually doing the thing that you promised to do for your spouse. Trust is vital to building a successful marriage through mutually honor based love. Therefore, trust in your marriage can be fully established. And, following through with your promises of meeting your spouse’s needs will encourage your spouse to do the same for you in return.
Value Your Spouse
Mutually honor based love is a bedrock principal of being motivated by a focus on honor above all other ways of making decisions that have to do with your spouse and your marriage. In this principle of a successful marriage, it is important to love your spouse with an honoring type of love. This is accomplished by placing worth and value on who he or she is as a person. I recommend that you make him or her the most important person in your life. Learn what things make your spouse feel like they are special and praise them for those wonderful qualities. Never take your partner for granted and your marriage will thrive.